The Reason I Call It 'Casa del Pollo'

You may have read me ramble on about Tió Aparato quite a bit on here. (I've also been told that Tió Artilugio would be a better translation of what I was getting at with his fake name, but... well, he's already Uncle Apparatus, so that's what he's staying.)
My uncle has always been a bit of a character, but in the last decade and a half or so, he's been slowly amassing a collection of.... chickens.
This past month is the first time I've actually visited his home in about five years. He had... a few odd chickeny knick-knacks at the time, but nothing... overly noticeable.

The ensuing five years have, indeed, brought the deluge.
Thus, ladies and gentlemen, I bring you - the proof, presented behind a cut because it really is a ton of pictures.

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Casa Del Pollo

(A Journey Through A Sea Of Cocks)

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This is the (eastern?) wall of the kitchen. Just take a moment to bask in its glory.

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This is a very, very tiny chicken. The bottle MIGHT be as tall as my thumb.


Maybe.
Directly to the bottle's left, we find...



Lucky Chinese Cock?

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Ducks, what are you doing here? You don't even go here.

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This is on the wall to the left of the shelves. I don't even know.


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Genuine Swarovski!

I didn't realize the porcelain fellows weren't properly in frame when I took this picture.

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Two Oaxaca-style fellows. And check that suave little plushie in the background! (All three are possibly as tall as my thumb, for scale.)

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Blurry though this one is, I feel it speaks for itself.


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It speaks even louder on further inspection, though.


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TINY WICKER EGG CUPS!


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Though lost in the scale-down, the fellow furthest to the right is essentially The Happiest Cylon.


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What I know to be a picture holder and OMG TINY R2D2!


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Of these three, I think I prefer the sassy Art Deco chicken.


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This apron hangs from the shelf with Art Deco and Tiny R2D2.


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I mean, realistically, what ELSE would he have brought back from Puerto Rico?


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The squirrel looks just as surprised to be here as I was to find him here.


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On the left, coming into the kitchen:


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These two guys look SO DELIGHTFUL in their sunbathing poses!


Wait, is that an old Reisling bottle? Mmmmmmmmmmm, Reisling........... wait, what was I saying?

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HOWDELIGHTFULSIR, YISSSSSS....

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This is the top of the planter that houses the ivy above the wine rack.

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I'd be distressed about being trapped up on a cabinet that high up, too.

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Doormat, and IRON GUARD ROOSTER.


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Cock clock?


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The cats get a chicken mat.


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Weather vane.


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A lamp with its own butt basket of chickens. And it that a... cat?

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Surprise hen was surprising.

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Companion lamp. Chicken bookends.

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And then there was randomly a fox and mouse?

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Clever hiding place, Window Cock. I see you there.

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I still can't believe I forgot to take a picture of the fucking andirons. You can sort of see one's crest behind the right rooster.

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HOLY SHIT THIS THING IS ANGRY



AND SO IS HIS FRIEND

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Meanwhile, back in the kitchen....


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I'm fairly certain I bought him the Beanie Baby.

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Foghorn. Motherfucking. Leghorn.

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It's like a chickeny re-enactment of that one scene in Hannibal.


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And that's not even taking into account the living room.



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Up top of a bookshelf:



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Stained glass, and a weird bulbous chicken...



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I still can't decide if they're supposed to be humping or not.

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A truly alarming clock.



Is that... is that a fucking bear in the background?

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Looked in the office. Found a terracotta chicken. Life goes on.



And then the random framed chicken...



And then I took a picture of a picture of a neon sign shaped like a chicken.



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At this point, I decided I was finished. No more chickens could be found. I retired to the kitchen to get some coffee from the best mug known to mankind

and as I went for the sugar, I noticed something strange...

What the fuck is that?
Is that... no, it's not...

........ Are you joking.