This would be depressing if it weren't so fucking hilarious.

Maybe it's because I've only gotten about five hours of sleep, or maybe it's hilarious because my subconcsious refuses to let this wreck my day.

I can't say for sure.


Quite, quite early this morning (quite, quite late last night?) a very strange thought occurred to me: I am now older than either of my parents were when I was conceived.

In my tired state, I decided to share this with the gang over on Ye Olde Book of Faces.

I phrased it in a way that acknowledged how weird of a thought it was to be having ("Thought that is vaguely creepy on many levels"), and ended it with a joke that was meant to seem as though I were phrasing it hesitantly to try and break the weirdness ("#reasontoparty?").

But then I went upstairs to bed. I thought to myself... does anyone in my life really wanna think about my parents doin' it? I don't really wanna think about my parents doing it.
So I did the only thing I could think to do: I pulled my laptop back out, logged on to Facebook, deleted the status. Nobody had even acknowledged its presence. No harm no foul. Right?

WRONG.


I went about my business... by which I mean I promptly fell asleep.
I woke up about 45 minutes ago, unable to go back to sleep.
Nothing was amiss in the world. I woke up in one of the comfiest beds ever, in one of the nicest rooms ever. Still tired, yet refreshed... nothing amiss.
Grabbed my phone.

Oh, come on.

Just when I think my father's proven himself mature enough to see my Facebook updates, things like this go down.
Essentially, his texts lead me to believe that he felt that the status (which was only posted for... what, 15 minutes, tops?) was a personal slam against him in a public forum. He even text forwarded me a copy of what I'd deleted.

Okay, first off... he gets specific text message alerts whenever I post anything?

Second... that wasn't... I... how the fuck is that a personal insult? It was a random late-night musing that I decided not to leave up for the eyes of my friends and family at large. Is it a personal slam to acknowledge the fact that everyone in the world is aging?
Well then, you know what?
FUCK YOU, WORLD. FEEL THOSE AGE LINES ETCHING THEMSELVES IN? 'CAUSE IT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.
CLUTCH THEM PEARLS, BITCHES, AND MAKE YOUR REMAINING SUMMERS COUNT. 

In fact, though, it was indirectly inspired by this page, and when I realized that wow that is actually true isn't it,I decided to post about it. But then that got scrapped.

Five texts later, he's still not getting how I wasn't trying to insult anyone.

Normally, this sort of thing irritates the living hell out of me, but I cannot for the life of my figure out what part about that pissed him off.
Thus, today, today, it's just...

Breakfast time now, if I do say so myself.

(And if anyone could explain to me why it was so insulting to him, I'm listening.)
(I also realize that discussing this in a public forum has morphed into a personal insult all its own. I'm simply laughing at the reaction, not the imagined offense in regard to the initial comment.)